I think I died a long time ago.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
