South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
