this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
