addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
