She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
