You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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