On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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