You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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