That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
