I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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