he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
