im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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