i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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