Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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