Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
