just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize