Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
