dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
