This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
