No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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