I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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