My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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