I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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