i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
