do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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