so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize