The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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