We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
