Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
