I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
