Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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