Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
