So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
