You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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