I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm like, not good at living.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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