i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
