He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize