He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
