My brain says no but my pants say off.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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