If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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