I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize