I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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