Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
