Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
