hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
