i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
