During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You pole danced in your parka.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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