we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
