first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
