He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
