I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
