Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
