I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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