people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize