their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
