today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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