how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
