I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
