I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize