Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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