It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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