A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize