? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
