Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
