haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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